Perspectives from a canoe: a slow drift towards inner calm

Edition #11: Coming out as an introvert

Jun 24, 2025

There - I said it. I am an introvert.
I crave solitude. I’d rather spend time alone than with other people.

Time alone isn’t just a preference - it’s how I recharge.

For those of you who’ve been kind enough to follow me here on Substack, this may come as a surprise: I am, at heart, a true introvert. In hindsight, I think I always have been - quietly carrying that truth without a name.

So consider this my quiet unveiling. And with it comes a sense of relief, like exhaling after holding my breath for years.

I feel lighter.

More at ease in my own skin.

More forgiving toward my family, my friends and the paths I’ve taken.

I am just beginning to see my life with softer eyes - and it’s starting to make a little more sense.

I am feeling more calm each day.

If you are new here, welcome to Perspectives from a canoe - a somewhat regular series of writing essays wherein I share my adventures while paddling. Along the way, I share my inner thoughts and ramblings about navigating the trails of water and of life.

For more ramblings and posts on my crazy outdoor adventures, please visit my Substack page. My next crazy adventure is hiking rim to rim in the Grand Canyon.

Looking back - raised as an independent kid

Looking back, I was raised to be independent - probably not on purpose. As the youngest of four in a small northeastern Pennsylvania town, my parents left me to fend for myself. Our dad died when I was nine, and with Mom working or finishing her degree, I had plenty of freedom. I spent my days exploring, often alone, and I thrived in that solitude.

Looking back - high school and college clues

In high school, I gravitated towards a small group of friends and found solace in writing for the school newspaper. I struggled in college and realized years later, that making new friends at a new school was just too much for me. In addition, being in a huge dorm and having a new roommate took a lot of energy for me to adapt.

After two years of poor academic performance, I decided to transfer to a college closer to family where I was able to have my own apartment. I finished my four-year degree in accounting - a good career choice because I could work with numbers and not people.

Does your career choice reflect your personality?
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Looking back - good and not so good career choices

However, the long hours and low pay working in accounting forced me to make a career move - into an academic position. At first, I thrived. My work centered on student counseling (one on one), data analysis, information management and working independently on special projects. As I gained more experience in higher education, I was given more responsibility and exposure where I needed to give group presentations and attend meetings with large groups.

I felt constantly drained from the constant social interactions and came home every night exhausted. Each night, I craved solitude to recharge for the next day.
Over the years, I've learned that I needed space to retreat and reset - that’s when I felt most creative, grounded and centered.

The last straw - being bullied at work

I was bullied at least twice in my higher education position. In retrospect, I realize that I should have stood up for myself and said something. But I never liked being in the spotlight and shied away from confrontation - especially in an academic position where I needed to obtain tenure. Finally, one day, after a senior director chewed me (personally) out at a meeting for something that was not my fault, I told myself - that’s it. No more. After the meeting, I approached the Chair of the Committee and told him I was done. I would not be returning to any future meetings.

Moving forward: a new chapter in my life

About seven years ago, I faced one of the hardest decisions of my life - leaving behind a secure career in higher education. I felt a deep unrest, a quiet ache inside telling me I wasn’t truly living. I knew I couldn’t stay stuck in a life that didn’t fulfill me.

I needed to find my own way, to chase the things that made my heart come alive while I still had the chance. It was scary and uncertain, but I had to choose myself and the possibility of something more. I felt I had more to give to this life before the final chapter arrived.

Karun Pal with the Introvert Letter writes about how introverts crave a quiet life with no drama, no conflict, no stress. A simple, quiet life of meaning and purpose.

Feeling stronger today: the strengths of being an introvert

Today, I feel good about leaning into being an introvert - spending more time reflecting internally and enjoying a quiet environment where I can develop and hone my writing skills. After all, writing is often a solitary process and I feel energized by alone time, making it easier to spend long hours on the creative process.

I am in good company - with other introverts such as Emily Dickinson, George Orwell, Agatha Christie, Meryl Streep, Albert Einstein, Eleanor Roosevelt and Mahatma Ghandi.

Wisdom from new and valued colleagues

Laura Lollar writes about leadership on Substack and she recently described a few traits that most introverts do not know about themselves in the 8 Reasons Why Introverts Are So Darned Lovable. She offers several strategies to help us introverts recharge - including spending time in nature, curling up with a good book, escaping to the spa and taking ourselves out to lunch in a quiet cafe.

Karun Patel writes about being an introvert here on Substack. One of my favorite posts of his is How to Reinvent Yourself as an Introvert in 2025.

Jenn Granneman is the founder of a community for introverts and the author of two books - The Secret Lives of Introverts, a manifesto for someone like me and Sensitive: The Hidden Power of the Highly Sensitive Personal in a Loud, Fast, Too-Much World.